The Life of a Swear Toad: A Varitek Tale
by pixies.rock.hard
Summary: Viro..Viro...Viro...Banana...Viro....Viro...Viro...Viro....Viro...Viro...Viro....Viro...Viro...Viro....Viro...Viro...Banana...Viro....Viro...Viro...a The Life of a Swear Toad one shot


**The Life of a Swear Toad: Catching Her Eyes**

**A Varitek Oneshot.**

**Thanks for the fairies, humans and swear toads that will review.**

**Once again, This FF has been inspired by the people I usually mention in The Life of a Swear Toad **

**A/N: This is set after chapter 4 of TLST:Project Love. I know its not posted yet, but it won't affect this story anyways.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, my parents refused to change my name to Eoin Colfer, Burnin' up is sung by the Jonas Brothers and Nick obvuisly owns himself.**

If roses are red, If violets are blue then I am madly inlove with you. And yet, you wouldn't even glance my way. I hugged my banana tighter, in which I put two whip-cream eyes and named Rovi. A little vain maybe, but the two syllables in your name are like angels singing in my ears. I took a bite of my Rovi. Now, she has a mouth. I dragged my Rovi's arms (one of her banana peels) towards the window. I looked down.

Viro and Wart were playing in the courtyard of Fowl Manor, while I was left to think of ways to pursue our goals. They were spraying each other with water hoses. Holly entered the room, I knew of course before she even spoke.

"BOO!" Holly said. I didn't twitch, I just kept looking at Viro, her shrill laughter taming the monster inside me that wants to join her.

"I'm never going to surprise you eh Banana Boy?" I winced. What? I love my Rovi. She's the one who replace Viro who fell over a simpleton like Wart. Plus, she's the same color of Spongebob. I need not to look back at her to say a witty comeback.

"I may be as what you describe as a Banana Boy, but you, madame, has an intellect of a swear toad, pardon the pun." I heard footsteps. She left the room. I knew she was shaking her head, thinking of my response comical rather than insulting.

The radio on my side suddenly turned on and said: "Hello Dublin! This is Grandpa Banana, broadcasting live. Now, before we play Burnin' Up by the Jonas Brothers, Don't forget to catch the fireworks later at exactly 6:30 pm." Then Burnin' up played.

I returned my whole concentration to Victoria, ignoring the radio and Holly. What is it with Wart that she finds so captivating? I am the perfect toad, fitting for a princess oh so like her. I decided to spy on them, even though I was supposed to think of ideas. I was unconsiously singing Burnin' Up with the radio. I went down Fowl Manor and hopped to the courtyard.

I hid behind the bush. What is it that she really likes? What should I do for her to focus her whole being on me?! I obseved quietly. Taking a munch on my Rovi. I licked a little of her sweet eyes. Maybe I should leave them alone to their happiness? No! I shall not let my sweet Viro fall in the hands of a imbecile like Wart.

Minutes had past then hours. After what seemed like ages watching Wart and Viro spray eachother with water, I thought of something. Viro had always been attracted to mud men rock music.

I went back to Art'is study and searched for a picture of Nick Jonas. I sved it then printed. Then I gathered things to make my disguise.

I gathered leaves for Nick's afro-like hair. Then a match stick for his mic. I took a whole shoebox for the stage, and put on Christmas lights around it. I did all of this with dragging my Rovi along. I expertly aranged the lights to where they were suppose to be. At the end I had a stage, a microphone and an afro, plus Lights that spells NICK JONAS THE TOAD. I set up a surrond sound systems and linked the wires to the match-mic so it can sense and project the sound vibrations.

And so, I put my custom-made afro of leaves and put on my best spongebob tie. "Ahem." The Sound system made sure that everyone heard, including Holly and everyone else. Everyone gathered around the stage.

"Hello to People" I said, rather nervously. My confidencethat came with my genius disolved. "I'm Nick Jonas and I would like to dedicate my, um, next song to Victoria Robyne." I waved at her, She winced. She hates her own name even though to me it sounds like sweet music. I presed play in the CD player, and a minus 1 of 'Burnin' Up' began to play. I took a deep breath. I put down Rivo and started to sing, with matching choreography.

_"I'm hot, you're cold..You go around like you know who I am but you don't you've got my toes. I'm slippin' into the lava..." _By the 2nd chorus, I didn't care anymore. I got carried away in music.

When the song finished everyone just stared. So I continued my speech. "Now, Everyone please look up the skies." Everyone automatically did just that. Fireworks blew everywhere. While everyone was busy looking, Viro came up to me, bringing with her her radiant aura. "Burnin' Up? That is so old school. We're in the 21st century already V." I almost fainted then, but I stayed long enough to feel a kiss on my cheeks. Then it was gone.

That was when I was about to faint when Wart and Victoria attacked me with a water hose. I played along for a while.

When I got inside the house, my afro was soaking wet. My tie was ruined, and most of all, my banana was soggy.

Oh well, there's more Banana's in the kitchen.

--

**A/N: i know its kind of pointless. And Viro, V-tek and Wart are all friends. There's no love between all of them, ain't no hate either. I just wanted to get this out. It's been bugging me for weeks. Thank ya'll**

**r&r**


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